Where to begin today...
I haven't felt like posting in a very long time, as you can tell from the date of my last post. Life has been pure hell dotted with times of just earthly torture. My mind has been so bogged down by thoughts of everything and nothing at the same time. I am constantly thinking about my current circumstances with the utmost unproductivity. I couldn't even tell you what I actually ponder all day. It's just a big tangled mess of grey.
One bit of positive news is that I have not cut very much recently. In fact, it has been almost two weeks. I think I have considered it during the past two weeks, but I'm not quite sure. I could attribute that to my medicine, or to trying to change my attitude, or to a friend who has given me a glimpse of some sort of happy future, or to God. There seem to a few things working toward positivity in my life, though their progress is sloth-like at best.
I was given this scripture tonight in a small group I attended for the first time.
But as for me, I will look to the Lord; I will wait for the God of my salvation; my God will hear me. Rejoice not over me, O my enemy; when I fall, I shall rise; when I sit in darkness the Lord will be a light to me. Micha 7:7-8
Not sure why I added it....but I do sit in darkness most days. Tonight I have felt a little light on my face and on my heart. It was warm and made me yearn for more.
